Friday, May 25, 2007

Lopsided Observations

It’s 6 in the evening. Damn. I must have slept over. I need to take a piss. I relieve myself in an alien loo. Even my own piss smells different in Delhi. Interesting…

Mami asks me to come down and have something. I realize it then. I was visiting their place for the day. I climb down the flight of stairs. They are two in number. I wonder why I remembered that. Our brain works in fascinating ways you know.

There is something about this city, with its sweaty bus rides and alienating stares, that makes you its own and pushes you away, all at the same time. One loves the charm of the 70s that still exists in bygone lanes. Then there is the new age concrete forest that seems to have sprung out of nowhere. Jazzy restaurants, funky joints, crumbling relics of an era bygone. Moral Police, coochy-coo couples, orthodox papas and mummys - Delhi’s got it all.

It’s not Delhi I want to talk about. It’s the effect it had on me. Or maybe I don’t want to talk about anything in particular. Who cares anyway? Not you I presume. Or else you wouldn’t be here. Getting bored.

I don’t have any idea what to write about. The imagination’s lacking. There are only questions. Loads of them. But I am sure you don’t want any of them. They can get pretty daunting. I am surprised why all of a sudden I have begun to question everything. My ambition, my plans, my path, my nature, and in fact my very personality. It’s as if something came and shook the very foundation my life was based on. Some event. Is it good? Or is it supposed to be catastrophic? You tell me. Okay…. I know these kinds of questions rank topmost in terms of stupidity. When I am finding it hard to answer them, it is next to impossible for you to even comprehend them. No matter how lucid I am.

Is it good to question things? Or is it good to just let them be the way they are? I am very stupid in that sense. I worry about almost everything. I am kinda waiting for a momentous change in my life. A ‘change’ which will ‘change’ me forever – leaving me a better and happier person. How is this change gonna come about? I am clueless.

Fuck it. Go home and sleep. You can not help me. Only that change can. If you are that change, then contact me. I promise I won’t hang up.


  1. twiddling your thumbs waiting for the change? bah
    come on life is worth more than that surely.
    change is the only permanent thing they say. i think its perfunctory.
    the only motto is to carry on. carry on, crawling, falling, running, whichever way, carry on.

  2. This post of yours' is quite similar to RK Laxman's style of writing .U can call it coincidence
    that I was reading his book from past couple of days and then came ur post .All in all it's gud one .

  3. Add a few more questions in this self interrogation session like post.( m sure there must be more of em).

  4. When you get your answers, care to keep me posted please ;)
    4 years at the same place, am out working - yet without answers to the very same questions you have. Is there an answer?

    When, when exactly is that change gonna happen :P

    Read a few posts - loved your style I must say. Keep scribbling

  5. OK
    I had initially thought I won't be responding to the comments on this post. But two new readers calls for unforseen measures. So here I go.

    As response I would like to quote Woody Allen from Annie Hall.
    "I would never want to be a part of a club that would have me as a member."
    Got the irony?

    crawling on??
    naah...this time I stand up and stake claim to my share of happiness and success.

    You make me blush. Laxman and me?
    Are you crazy? I am not even fit to wash his feet.
    Abbey haan....poems padh...and comment. ;)

    Dear Readers...I have nothing to give you but crap, questions, poems and more trosh.

    @Placid Man
    The change refuses to notice me man. It refuses to acknowledge my presence. But even if it does, will it guarantee what I seek?

    Keep dropping in and increasing my comment count. ;)

    I promise all of you I'll disappoint you time and again.

  6. hey man i was not comparing u with the great man (how can u think of tht) .I jus said tht thr was some similarity btn dis particular post and the way he writes .
    toh beta zyada hawa mein mat udo

  7. @Gravity

    heh heh...its good to be proud sometimes!

  8. @ Lanky...

    dude... u keep underestimatin urself...DONT...
    after all u r ma frnd :P