Monday, July 23, 2007

What Are You Doing Today?

Disclaimer: The title has been plagiarized from the Microsoft tagline - "Where are you going today?". Don't freak out if you are a Windows fanatic. Instead, appreciate the creativity that MS inspires.

OK. On we go. In order to make up for not calling me up (or not wishing me through that bane called Orkut) on my birthday, many people have been asking the dreaded question. It goes something like this - "So what did you do on your birthday?". A seemingly innocent looking smiley usually follows this mental torture.

True to the spirit of engineering (read being as lazy as humanly possible), I have decided to answer all of them in one go. So here's the itinerary for my Big Day, or whatever lame-ass name you prefer to give it. I hope that after putting it up here, I'll be spared the trouble of answering THE question, all over again.

18th July, 2007

2345 - 0000 Readying my ass for the kicking session people have come to call celebrating one's birthday.

19th July, 2007

0000 - 0015 Got kicked, sans any pity. Gruesome looking villains taking out all their pent-up frustration on me. It was bad. Let's not go into the details please.

0015 - 0045 The same old gruesome looking monsters contemplate whether or not they should throw me in the pool. I am swung around like sack of potatoes a few times. Finally, the dumb orangutans decide they've had enough. I am left wearing nothing but a bermuda and thrown into the pool, sans any grace or dignity. Humph.

0045 - 0100 I go to our room and put on a fresh pair of bermudas. Out I come. Have a glass of Slice. The monsters are already planning to do the Pepsi thingy. I am terrified. "This is the last pair of bermudas", I tell them. But, they refuse to relent. I run for my bermuda.

0100 - 0200 Aish and I get a bottle of beer each. We made the resort owner open the bar at 1 in the night. Nice old fella he was. Was smirking when he handed the bottles.

The beer bottles are empty in an hour's time. Champ, Chiku, and Bhaggu had joined the two of us. They drink (and spill over) Pepsi. We Kingfisher. Didi calls up at the end of the hour. Asks immediately if I have been drinking. I nod sheepishly. She is not surprised. All's well that ends well.

0200 - 0300 I spend (or more precisely waste) my time, reading birthday wishes on Orkut. I reply to some of them. It's time to sleep. I go to bed, feeling strangely content.

0300 - 0930 ZzZzZzZzZzZ

0930 - 1030 Number 1, Brushing, Number 2, Number 3 (Bathing rey)

1030 - 1100 Breakfast. Listen to Raka kicking Aish's ass for almost no rhyme or reason.

1100 - 1130 Raka gone. Champ, Aish, and I prepare to leave Mysore.

1130 - 1430 Travel from Mysore to B'lore, enjoying the scenery.

1430 - 1500 Champ and I have lunch at the Pizza Hut near the airport. Aish is conspicuous by his absence. He has gone to meet up with someone. Ahem.

1500 - 1730 Wait for Ganna, Chiku and Bhaggu at B'lore airport. Finally they arrive, in all their regal glory and grandeur.

1730 - 2100 Fly over half the length of the nation. Kingfisher again. Lovely service. Ahem.

2100 - 2230 Reach some remote spooky location in West Patel Nagar. Everyone goes out for dinner to YO! China. Good Food. Even Matt is impressed. "Then it must be good", I say to myself.

2230 - 2330 Team settles down in its new surroundings. Printer is set up. Cell phones are plugged in. It's time when they usually start ringing (for obvious reasons).

2330 - 2345 Somebody suddenly realizes a lovely looking cake had been ordered from before hand. Hurriedly, candles are fished out. But unfortunately, there are no matches and no Chaurasiya Paan Waala can be found at this hour. So I pretend to blow out the candles. The guys don't pretend to sing. They actually do. Much to the dismay of people residing above and below us.

Eat Cake. I say. You too. They say. I am filled with cake by the time they are done with me. I am almost swallowing it, using a bottle of cold water. Finally everything is resting at the bottom of my exceptionally small tummy.

2345 - 0000 Remove (or try removing) any vestiges of cake still left clinging to my clothes.

That's about it. That's how my the day ended, with me by the basin. Do you still have any questions? Please tell me you don't.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Subterranean Homesick Alien

There weren't enough comments from the damned hudugas and hudugis on the previous post. So, I decided to put up something more for their useless praise and appraisal. After all, since they are damned already, you can't expect much from them. Whatever!

The post comes just a day before my budday. All you thaluas out there - make sure to wish me and bring sweets for me (whenever I see your irritating face). My esteemed presence can not be profaned without some incentives to do so. Gifts and sweets are the prefect excuses. And haan, an iPod would be just fine.

Life in Mysore is okay. We got a lot of work to do. But somehow the weather, the kids and the incentives (read pending salary) make it all worthwhile. I am kinda going to miss this city. It has got loads of trees, some good roads, and some even jazzier tourist attractions. Thinking of tourist spots, I must mention my visit (second one in fact) to the Mysore Palace (the day before). We were accompanying Don Williams and Susan Dray (a couple of visitors from Microsoft). Saw the I-follow-you paintings and the oh-how-so-romantic Peacock Hall all over again. I can now almost become a half-baked guide for bummers like myself. Saw the lighting and all as well.

We visited the Visvesvaraya Dam today (the Brindavan Garden locale). It was all very good. The visitors will be going back tomorrow. So we can afford to relax after 3 hectic days.

Damn, this post is getting too crappy. I can almost feel the crassness of the style. So that's it. Good Bye. See you around.

Aunty, Dave, Me - Chamundi Biking Spree