Friday, May 18, 2007

Would You Please, Fuck Yourself ?

Profanities, obscenities, slangs, expressions that end up on the wrong side at the wrong time. Here's my take on the issue.

Disclaimer - Mamma's Boys and Modest Girls please stay from this post. It has gross connotations and is certainly not meant to be read by you. Also, chastising comments are a strict no-no and won't be entertained. Only sarcastic profanities are allowed. This one time.

Fuck You! The most obvious choice for the #1 position on our MaxX List. Needless to say, its factotum nature is almost unrivaled in the spoken world. The variety of situations in which it can be used is mind boggling. Get a load of this.

Frustration: Fuck man, she ditched me!
Anger: Fuck you asshole, go fuck yourself!
Desperation: Fuck Fuck Fuck, I still haven't started studying man!
Awe: She's so fuckin' hot dude!
Love: I fuckin' love you so much girl. Don't you see that?

Not to mention the unique characteristic that it can "almost" be the only word in a sentence - Fuck the fuckin' fuckers!

So next time somebody bugs you to no end or you feel disillusioned with life in general, just do it. Use the F-word. In your own unique style. Let the world go and funk itself.

Bhugg Saala 'My' hindi counterpart for our very own hero - 'fuck', this phrase needs no introduction. Can be used to express your frustration with anything bad (read good for others) that happens in life. Be it your profs giving you another dumb assignment. Be it your roomie playing another Ramstein song on high dB. Or be it your frustration with yourself - plain and simple. Also, it can be utilized to shoo away prospective nuisance makers like Bhachar Pratap Singh and Chingari Baadshah.

Chutiya Although, I know this word has several sinister implications, I prefer to use it to refer to any dumb person (read entities like Chintu 'Chutiya' Chingari and John G. Buss) who is most likely to be spurned as soon as you find him approaching your hallowed grounds. So feel free to craft your own definitions and spell-bound others with your creativity. Only sky is the limit.

Kya chutiyapa hai be? One of the most common phrases uttered within the confines of the hostel walls. Once again, the phrase can have certain vulgar implications. But I use my own definition. And I don't care what others think. Use it whenever you don't understand an already solved assignment. Use it whenever you don't get a word what the Prof is babbling about. Use it when you get a D grade. Use it freely. Use it wisely.

Ghanta Just for the sake of modesty (not that I am a gentleman), I'll refrain from discussing the literal implications of this 'ghanta'. Those who are wise can snigger on. OK. Here's the deal. Use this word without any of it's more illustrious mates. That's right.


That's all. Use it whenever you disagree with some wisecrack and think you are smarter. Say "Ghanta", very much like you would say 'Jackpot' and then express your dumb point. It works, well, most of the times.

If you are confused as to why I have put an end to the ever growing list of *beep beep*, it's because this is a public forum. You never know when some over-zealous lawyer will file a case against you for profaning the sanctity of cyberspace, while safely ignoring the porn sites for his nocturnal fantasies. So my lord, I rest my case here. If any of the bachchas wanna know more of the tabooed stuff, feel free to contact me or any of my minions. We'll make sure to enlighten you.

Let there be profanity!


  1. hahahahhha... lol... rockin[:D]

  2. nd dude... u dnt need to use ?java

  3. ur "minions"
    ek ka naam to batao

  4. abe pehele k comment kaha gaye

  5. @ghalib
    we dont?
    whatever happened to the firewall be?

    do ke le
    chingaari and john
    the undisputed kings of *beep beep*
    they will enlighten any soul abt profanity with examples

  6. loud post... like hard-rock!! liked the genre!! :)

  7. you don't need the firewall workaround by ?java when you open the post through the homepage and not direct link. Also, when commenting - its a blogger link and tab bhi zaroorat nahi.

    Try opening just the post via direct link and there the famous firewall of college comes in full view - did you know that like ?java, even ?microsoft works and haan, am reiterating uselessly though - ?java gives awesome speed gains when you use in flashget too ;)

  8. a lovely post btw ;)

    ah, did I insult the post by calling it lovely - watever !! :P