Negative Pessimism

Excerpts from a conversation between two Intellectual Chutiyas. Both thinking they are intellectuals in their own right. Both knowing they are chutiyas. Not in order of chronology or importance. More for The Self and The Fool than anyone else.

The Self: I thought you went on to the dark side?
The Fool: As in? I have been bloody stubborn with things all my life....and I am stubborn with optimism as well.

The Self: The Dark Side. One known as pessimism.
The Fool: Naah. Or maybe I don't know. Negative Pessimism. If that means anything.

The Self: I like it. I am stealing it.

The Self: So there are four things -
1) You flunked.
2) You published and now plan to publish your own book.
3) You have an opportunity with the Law Commission or something. Hopeful thing.
4) Then there is Congress. Not too hopeful thing.
The Fool: The last bit is very promising.

The Fool: As regards you being a whatever, I think you to be one of those straightjacket-rulebook-based guys who would be liked by many of the parents. Reason being you do not experiment much. And you have been professionally appeasing. And I say appeasing and not substantiating; though I am sure your mother would strongly differ from me. Other things I can not straight away think of.

The Fool: You are at home. You are getting work done on your blog when I am slogging for some rubbish in these weird hours. Your news is the best news. I just had trivia to share. How is The Other by the way?
The Self: Good.

The Fool: The kind of conversation that we have had. It is nothing but an exercise for intellectual indulgence. You know the answers better than me. It is a fact that both of us know.
The Self: We both know. Yet we seek affirmation. Or maybe a contradiction.

The Fool: My telling you something would hardly help. That is again something that both of us know. But we still talk at these ungodly hours to just satiate our indulgent minds. My God! I would never ever have a girlfriend if keep talking in these verbose terms.
The Self: I like the term intellectual chutiya. It’s more befitting.

The Fool: I like the fusion aspect to your vocabulary.
The Self: Let me indulge in myself.

The Self: I go to susu. Come back in 60 seconds. You can time me.
The Fool: See….too many things in the pipeline.

The Fool: I would say that for me you have been an individual whose company has been pleasing.
The Self: I would take comfort in that.

The Fool: Till date the contexts against which we can backdrop our acquaintance have been such that make the relationship scintillate. But in the end it’s all contextual. Everything is relative. Very probably, and fortunately for you, you may find better people to be with - for instance The Other - who are better behaved according to your notions. And then, the backdrop of our relationship would change. And you would say that our friendship has been good. But then it would be tempered with your expectations of The Other.
The Self: You are using that word very often.

The Fool: And I, being the emotional fool that I tend to be at times, would say that your friendship of late has been 'disappointing'. And that I no longer feel the warmth.
The Self: I respect the honesty. And you do see that despite everything, I asked this question of you. And not anyone else. Not The Other or my parents.

The Fool: So, how was the lecture in philosophy? Read philosophy. You are better endowed than me because of your knowledge of mathematics. You shall be better off at analysis. I do not know all the physics and logic that is required.
The Self: I like to create my own philosophy. It's all in the head.

The Fool: Have been using a lot of what Einstein said in my study of the constitutional jurisprudence. And I love it. But tell me. How was the The Other bit? Especially the The Other one.
The Self: Is it the truth you want?

The Fool: There you go wrong again. Is there anything called truth? You violate the fundamentals of relativity so often.
The Self: The truth "I" know?

The Fool: Haha. Yeah, go ahead.
The Self: It is spelled as The Other. And you might have to give me five minutes to actually understand it.

The Fool: Perfect equanimity is what we all seek. But rarely find. Those who do; are said to have attained Nirvana. Nash Equilibrium attempts it. But only in very specific contexts.
The Self: You do realize the effort you put into typing would be much more fruitful in case you stuck to the core vocabulary Indians are gifted with?

The Fool: Both Louis de Broglie and Einstein, through their works have only helped to bring the conundrum in a better light. The confusion however still persists. Everything is relative.
The Self: You are ranting now.

The Fool: Hahahaha. I know I am.
The Self: And I sincerely suggest you stick to a 2000 word vocabulary.

The Fool: All those who have been close to me have told me of this. There are others who are not close as yet, and therefore have not complained as yet. But I wish them to complain as soon as possible
The Self: It’s not the ranting I detest. It’s the inability to comprehend it.

The Fool: So you have experiences in St. Fidelis and because of the surroundings and the exposure - or the lack of it - you call yourself (along with the pleased consent of your family and friends, including me) as successful.
The Self: Go on.

The Fool: You step out of the cocoon, as do I and so many others, and the context changes. The same term 'experience' is now juxtaposed with different settings. These being your life within DA-IICT and without. Your life juxtaposed with The Other and so many others. You feel the same experience as you had at Fidelis take newer colors. The phenomenon fundamentally is same. It's just that you try perceive it in different contexts. And you call it a "downhill ride". So when you ask me whether you have been a disappointment, I would say what I am best at. I would say that for me you have been an individual whose company has been pleasing.

The Fool: Arey yaar. I am reading what I had written to you.
The Self: You read your own work. Talk about vanity.

The Fool: I love being a narcissist.
The Self: I am making a blog post out of this conversation.

The Fool: No. Please do not.
The Self: I am not foolish enough to make a joke out of it. You are welcome to help. Only 10% of it is going in anyway. Maybe less.

The Fool: It will be in you Gtalk history. You can always go through it whenever you wish to. And I would be there as ever. So we can talk. Why let all and sundry know what is so essentially ours.
The Self: Have faith in me.

The Fool: And I know you will remove all the The Other bits.
The Self: I repeat. Have even more faith in me. What pseudonym do you want in the conversation?