Saturday, January 20, 2007


Dear Bored Reader,

I have been meaning to write something constructive and beautiful for quite some time now. “The drought has lasted long enough”, so said one of my friends. Another acquaintance remarked casually and reminded me of my sabbatical. But I feel helpless right now. The inspiration is just not there. Ideas are lacking and even when they do make an appearance; words find it very tedious to wriggle out of them.

But plunging into the “seas of passion” in search of “wrecks sublime” comes to me in the guise of a compulsion. So just like a mathematician trying to ascertain the reasons and cure of his depression using some abstruse equation; I decided to give my ‘creative poverty’ a run for its money.

The Summer of 2006 was like a dream. The ‘Siddhartha’ in me attained his enlightenment sometime while he was dozing off on his study table. The halo around the Neo-Buddha served its purpose steadfastly for about 4 months. This small period saw an explosion of amazing ideas and tiny grey cells in me. I metamorphosed from an analyzing engineer into a day-dreaming poet. I wrote like a maniac. Loads of stuff. Needless to say, my grades plummeted like a falling meteorite. But as I read somewhere – the juice was worth the squeeze.

The sudden burst of creative inspiration was only aggravated by the fact I spent 6 blissful weeks in the Himalayas. The sight of it all still doesn’t fail to make me nostalgic. I am very certain that the trip helped me evolve in more ways than one. Things that seemed so certain till now, lost ground. Meanwhile, dormant seeds germinated and laid the foundation for radical changes in my thinking. It would only be right to say that a juggernaut has been set into motion. It’s only expected that it will transform a lot of ideals and notions in its wake.

The dream faded into oblivion and so did its repercussions. The old schedule slowly found its way back into my life. The halo which had so faithfully served its purpose; began to flicker and it was not before it went out like a moist fuse. But this time on, there was a longing for all that I was missing. I had begun to see things in a new light and that signified the dawn of a new phase in my thought process.

I questioned my actions and underwent a rigorous self-analysis. Flaws were unearthed and examined with a scalpel in hand. Modalities were discussed in detail and ambitious plans were hatched. But I have a much criticized habit of shelving my time-tables. They continue to grin at me like skeletons in one’s closet. But this time serious effort is being put into scripting an anti-climax. Things are somewhat falling in place. The tower of cards might come down any moment. But there will be the satisfaction of having given it a shot. The very effort has probably changed me. For better or worse, I can not to tell. Maybe you should ask time. It always has some story to tell, some poor soul to ridicule and some unsuspecting audience to bore.

very lovingly yours,
"by whatever name you know me"

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