Romance is Dead

Let it never be said that romance is dead
'Cos there's so little else occupying my head
There is nothing I need 'cept the function to breathe
But I'm not really fussed, doesn't matter to me

Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
Know what ya doing, doing to me?
Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby

Due to lack of interest tomorrow is canceled
Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held
'Cos there's nothing at all 'cept the space in between
Finding out what you're called and repeating your name

Ruby, ruby, ruby, ruby
Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya

- Ruby, Kaiser Chiefs

Ahalya

O Ahalya, untouched and unchanged,
Let me suffer the curse of your vice.
O Ahalya, my frozen deity, my beloved;
Rid my tired senses of this endless strife.
O Ahalya, unspoken words of my silence,
Become a rhyme in the verse of my life.

Ahalya, by the lamp, I had seen tonight;
Tears in your eyes, by that yellow light.
Those pearls were never meant to glisten;
So the tale of woes, I promise to listen.
But that mantle, my dear, you must shed;
Reach me out, leave the obvious unsaid.

Or will you listen if I told you my story?
Its words forever, more yours, less mine.
I vow to recite from the start, the dawn
Of our togetherness, to the end, my pine.
Forgive me if I falter, for wasted I am;
You are all I have, your essence divine.

~~~~

Your lips quiver, yet they make no sound.
I’ve relished your silence; deep, profound.
Every nuance of your body, each blemish
I recount in dreams; all there’s to cherish.
Each wanton curl, every guiltless twinkle,
I remember them all, to the last wrinkle.

Irresolute lips did whisper my devotion.
But did they echo your indifferent ears?
How I despised being an ignorant fool;
Was I still a stranger? Worst of my fears.
I’ve now worn out, longing for a chance;
Love’s labor’s lost, and with it my tears.

~~~~

For you, dear, all inhibitions I’ve shunned.
Given more of me then you’ve returned.
Saying so, I wait, fade, hope, and trust.
Have love my faith, but only if you must.
Thus in your arms, myself I do surrender;
Let me in your light, my beautiful stranger.

I rant and rave, hoping you would listen.
Though in my heart, resigned is each wish.
I err more often than I breathe Ahalya,
Become the perfection in me, lest I perish.

Devil's Advocate

Here I am, completing an incredibly stupid tag from an incredibly stupid person (who never got around to completing mine). And that too when I have exams. Now do you realize my magnanimity? Loser. It's another matter altogether we always wind up having free time.

Last Movie Seen in Theatre “Taare Zameen Par”. I had the good fortune of watching it with Mom and Dad. Both of them shed tears in copious quantities. I was a bit busy observing the reactions of the aunty sitting to my right. But definitely one of the better movies Bollywood has churned out. And it shall remain so for a long time to come. Oh did I forget to mention something? Amir Khan rocked, as always. If you don’t believe me, watch him in action in “Sarfarosh”.

Book Being Read Security Protocols. It’s not a book actually. Just a 50-something-page notebook filled with my handsome scrawl.

Favorite Board Game Err. Does Ludo count? Playing “these” games is definitely one of the childhood things I kind of missed out on. Though I do remember Dad teaching me how to play chess (when we were in Bhutan). But a budding talent was nipped in the bud when Didi decided to upturn the board every time she lost to me. Damn. Also, I remember buying a very expensive and overtly intellectual board game called Scotland Yard on one of my birthdays. Pity it turned out to be a little too abstract for me too. It now rusts atop one of the cupboards at home.

Favorite Magazine I used to pine for Playboy in my adolescent years (have they passed already?). Used to go to the magazine stand almost every week, wondering whether the vendor had been able to get a copy of the coveted journal. Only to be disappointed of course. When the realization dawned, I began to make do with the magazine’s less illustrious contemporaries.

Crap apart, favorite regular reads have to be National Geographic and Wisdom . Interest in both grew because Dad used to get them especially for me from his office (other members in the family were just too disinterested in intellectual preoccupations or environmental concerns of the world). Nat Geo was perused only because of the wow images their correspondents took. Wisdom was devoured because of my fascination with trivia.

While Nat Geo is still a staple, Wisden has long been lost in oblivion, both by the world (I wonder if it's still published) and by me. As a matter of fact, I thought about it only while completing the tag.

Favorite Smells Saundhi Mitti. Nothing beats it for me. Smell of my Mom in the clothes stored in the cupboard at home (I have never actually confessed this to her).

Favorite Sounds Burning of the guitar. Silence of the afternoons I spent in my terrace room at home. Coldplay. Gulzar. Couples kissing. Ok that was the most longed for sound.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? “Fuck. I think I slept too long. Again. Shit.”

Worst feeling in the world Lots actually. And I am not mentioning any of them. Ok. I’ll just write one. Having money when someone is begging for it at the traffic signal. And yet not parting with any of it.

Favorite Fast Food Place It’s been only four years since I had my first McDonald’s burger. What more could you expect? Not a big fan of fast food anyway. Ok. Maybe fast food that you bring home and gorge on while watching the afternoon sleazy movie on HBO.

Future Child’s Name Siddhartha Junior. Can’t help it. I am too much in love with my name. Aren’t you enamoured by it too?

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” Try to spend it all before the incredulity of it gets to me.

Do you drive fast? Suraksha se der bhali. Have never known myself exceeding 60kmph, even on the loneliest of roads. I think I am a bit scared of speeds. Or maybe the bike shakes a bit too much after those speeds. Either way, I am not a speed demon.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? I sleep with my velvety blanket, tucked firmly under me (instead of spread over me). I have to make do with it because life sized dolls (you get what I am getting at?) are conspicuous by their absence in INDIA.

Storms - Cool or Scary? Depends. Cool if there is some girl who is scared shitless by the same. Otherwise just okay hi payega na?

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? What the heck is broccoli? Baah. I eat aloo-gobhi. And I love it.

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? Blonde. Ha ha. I am not kidding of course. Ass.

All towns/cities you have lived in Let’s start from the beginning. Delhi (Was born there), Dimapur (Nagaland), Jaipur, Samtse (A village on the India-Bhutan border. The best place I have been to. And probably I’ll ever be to), Lucknow, Ghaziabad, Gandhinagar, Mysore, Noida, Gandhinagar, Period.

Favorite sports to watch Beach Volleyball. Of course.

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you Err. I think the hard drive just crashed. Our tech support will get back to you soon.

What’s under your bed? Not much. A strolley with no wheels. On top of that is a suitcase. A pair of shoes I haven’t used in 4 months. Oh, I just looked. Approximately 6 empty (of course) packets of Rasna JuiceUP.

Would you like to be born as yourself again? Yes. Albeit with more brains.

Morning person or night owl? Seriously. I want to know. Are you kidding me?

Over easy or sunny side up? Sorry. ArrayOutOfBoundsException. Total over head transmission.

Favorite Place to Relax Under a mango tree. If you want the exact place, look for the one in the primary school in a village named Kandikhal. Also, Lucknow home’s parent’s bedroom (with mum sleeping beside me so that she can wake me up whenever I ask her to) is a close second.

Favorite Pie What angrezi shit? Hindi mein batao pie ka matlab. Humph.

Favorite Ice Cream Just ice cream has to be orange bar. I once vomited 13 times in a single night because I ate an equal number of cheap orange bars during the day. Favorite flavor has to be butter scotch.

And now comes the best part. In order to continue the vicious circle, I tag Piper, Pinky, and Shaktimaan (if she ever reads this).

Humph

There are times when things seem to be going okay-ish. It’s somewhat similar to riding a bike to school. You know that it’s not something you like doing. But it’s not killing you either. So you pedal along, half expecting that someday the school will turn out to be nearer than it really is. And you could have waited for that day, knowing very well that it would never happen. You believe in your dream. Your bohemia. Your palace of cards.

But then, somewhere down the line, the ice cream vendor very slyly gives you a piece of his wisdom, free of cost, along with that cone of vanilla flavoured delight you have just bought. He, of course, tells you the truth, shattering the long nurtured dream. It’s then that you break down, feeling decimated and blinded by the realization. You had loved him. Hadn’t you? Each time he had served his delectable delicacy. But now, all you see is the palace of cards crashing down, demolished by a friendly gale. It’s then you realize that it wasn’t the bully you should have been frightened of all this while. It’s the friendly neighbourhood candy man. The one who gave you bonus dollops of utopia every time you smiled just a little bit more.

Then you wonder. Just a little bit. Every time you are left alone to your devices. Was it worth it? The little moments of joy you shared with him. Were they worth the pain you were now destined to endure? The knowledge that your fleeting glimpses of bliss had caused you your lingering uneasiness. Would it prove to be your undoing? The realization that your happiness had come to be inextricably intertwined with that perpetual fear of misery. Would you be able to shrug it off with a humph and continue seeking your bohemia?

Humph.

Struck

She looked so beautiful tonight. Almost full I think. But it doesn't matter. Even if she were half of herself, she would have still paled everything else in comparison. White. The best shade possible. Small. As if teasing from far away. Gorgeous. Way more sensual than my wildest dreams. Pockmarked. She seemed to personify perfection in flaws. I smile in awed surrender.

Fuck. Oh fuck!

I have followed her trail, all through the night, across my yellow window of light. I still can not get enough of her. Gosh.

How To Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

- How To Save a Life, The Fray